BAH!

Muahahaha... another long time since I've posted again.

New things:

• Going into second semester of Inti
• Living with le bf at weld quay flat
• Driving an old Honda Accord, compliments of bfs aunt
• Did pretty well in first sem results (3.85)!
• Became open about being bi/curious
• Went to Langkawi w/ fellow friends
• Canoed to Pulau Tikus

That's all that I can recall, I guess everything else isn't important enough for my memory to retrieve. So what's happening these days? Well, nothing particular actually. I'd love to blog about my daily happenings like most people do, but I don't have the time nor interest to do such a thing, I prefer just blogging whenever I need something to release. In contradiction, I actually have nothing to release right now, but visiting Anna's blog reminded me I should at least say something on mine.

There was once a time where I was in wreckage, you could say, on the verge of death, and I had no idea what it was like to be normal. And now, it's unfathomable to me how I was in that state of mind before. Sometimes it crosses me as someone distinctively different from the person here, as if it were another dimension. At that time, what I saw in the mirror was not the person standing before it, it was actually the "me" now, trapped in there, and no wonder it felt like terror whenever I looked in the mirror - I didn't see my own reflection. Like I said: another dimension. As Carl Rogers would put it, the ideal self and the real self were not in harmony, causing anxiety and dismay. Anyhow, I just wonder sometimes how could I have been so bloody fucked up? For goodness sakes I thought bacteria was out to get me! You try to think back to that time but none of it makes sense, and it's the same when I was in that state, trying to think normally was impossible. Funny, the brain works in such mysterious ways, far beyond any ones comprehensibility.

Hah! Although I had nothing to say, there is always something I can effing conjure up; there is always something bottled up inside.

I'm currently intoxicated by Megan Fox these days... sigh...

A ruckus stirring inside

Can I make it out alive this time, will I be able to breathe?
Sadness and desertion is overwhelming, its entirely consuming, of thoughts, emotions, and every other crevice that exists in a person. I've gotten to a point where I can't take it anymore, and I wonder if it's worth fighting for - the love that is slowly dwindling away. When things just don't connect anymore and everything turns into array of bickering, I think it's time, because everything is only gonna go downhill from there. It's time to say good bye to love.

Getting back to basics

Most people have been seeing less and lesser of me, but that's only because I've been getting back to basics.
Basics defined: taking care of things. Things defined: Health (physical, mental, emotional)

I've been waking up early (whoaaa..) I mean like roughly averaging 8 a.m. which is early I guess if I don't have anything to actually do. I wake up on the intent to go hiking with a friend, Mabelle, or jogging myself. There ain't nothing better than starting your day fresh with some excercise. I woke at 7.30 today, my body just automatically wakes up early now, and looked out to my dismay - a rainy day. So with nothing to do, I've started my homework, but I'm on a break now (lol). Other than those things, I read, gym it, do stuff I have to do, hang with bf, hang with friends still once in a while (not so much lol they all work), do my homework, go online, and watch the occasional tv (only for minutes b/c there's never anything good on). I wish they showed family guy here! I miss that show so much!

I feel.. alive? Yeah, alive, that's it. Very much alive. I'm actually being productive, something that tends to wither away when I'm caught up in something. I remember there was a time, recently actually, that I couldn't stand to be alone and I'd get a bit anxious. It wasn't how I used to be, which was completely content in being alone and doing my own things. I'm glad I've refined back to being comfortable. My mind is working better, I think I'm still recovering, but I see improvements already in mind, body, and soul. Mother says my body has gotten bigger, not fat, but like stronger, not the frail frame I used to carry; thanks to the gym and proper nutrition.

School at INTI is gonna start soon, May 4, and I have no idea what to expect! It's been so long since I've had to intregrate myself in a new establishment with new people, that last time being high school. Yay, for personal skills! At least I'll get to meet people with the same interest... I wonder how small the class size will be... what if there's only 5 students! That'd be cool actually, we'd all become great friends.

K I've gotta get back to doing homework... I'm already getting distracted HELLA! tootles.
signing out, EmKay.

I've been tagged by Anna

1. The person who tag/pass you is?
Anna Banana


2. Your relationship with him/her is?
A good friiiiend of mine


3. Your five impression of him/her?

1.She's quirky, kind of weird but I love that about her. 2.Very motherly like and is a real good listener and advice giver, somehow I feel I can just tell her anything. 3. She doesn't like the sun. 4. She talks a lot when she's excited 5. Defs a good kisser ;)

4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Come to my birthday party lol.. and all those times she listened to me blabber on


5. The most memorable thing she/he had said to you?
K I might not remember technically what she said, but I know the advice she's given.. and that's like confidential girl stuff.


6. If he/she become your lover you will?
I will what? She already is my parttime lover hahaha..


7. If she/he become your lover, thing she/he has to improve on will be?
Get out of the house more, I'm an outdoors type of person who also likes sports!


8. If she/he become your enemy, you will?
It'll never happen.. I don't have any enemies and never will. Plus, I don't ever foresee any reason that should a rise and create such a disaster.


9. If she/he become your enemy, the reason will be?
..... she slept with my bf or something like that.. or I slept with hers... which neither would ever happen!


10. The most desired thing you want to do for her/him now is?
For her to become an awesome artist and live happily ever after.


11. Your overall impression of her/him is?
Weird, cute, I want to bite her.


12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
Everyone just adores me I suppose lol.. I don't know?!


13. The characters you love of yourself are ....
FUN!


14. On the contrary, the character you hate yourself are?
arrogant


15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
the dalai lama


16. For people that care and like you, say something to them...
I love everybody, and even though we might always talk, we're always still there when we need each other - that's what counts.

CNY 2009

Whoa I never really knew how big CNY is.. well I've never thoroughly experienced it anyway.
It's been quite fun, visiting both my ma's huge family and Kenn's. Although I've yet to meet my fathers side, which is all in due time.

Right now.. I'm too furious to write anymore. Otherwise though, life has been pretty good so far.. work, studies, and such.

"Tag Yourself" Krispy says...

by Khor Choo Lyn.

1. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend smokes?
Preferably not, but it's not going to be a huge factor that stops anything from progressing. I'm going to quit myself, so it'd be best to nawwww...tttt

2. How about drinking?
Of course, but within moderation. Gotta know when to have a good time ;)

3. Do you like someone you can't have?
NOPE! I already have him :]

4. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Why not, but nevertheless I probably wouldn't care - it's their choice, not mine.

5. What's your favourite sport?
Basketball, Le gym, swimming, tennis, badminton, bowling, pool, skateboarding, running, hiking - I PLAY EVERYYYYYTHING!

6. It's saturday night, you're home alone. What do you do?
Please myself with my purple buddy... JUST JOKING! First, I'd call the dog up, if it's busy (pumping iron) I'd call friends to chill, drin,k and party party. But usually the dog picks up.

7. Do you like roller coasters?
Do I like roller coasters?! Do planes fly with metal wings?! I love roller coasters, I love the feeling like I'm going to die.. but I know I won't.

8. When's the perfect time to have a bf/gf?
Whenever.. love is a abound..just waiting to blossom anywhere, anyplace, anytime.

9. If you could date any celebrity, who would it be?
Jesus Christ. but then I couldn't have sex, so no, I choose you: Mark Wahlberg!!!

10. What are you doing this weekend?
Go to KL with the dog (kenn wee)... and working at the other doggy's (the wern) restaurant

11. What is your favourite restaurant?
The Ship, I looove steak, that or Subway.

12. Have you ever hugged someone?
WTF kind of question is that, who hasn't ever hugged someone - I'll bet a troll, because they smell and have bad vaginal odor, plus they ask you to pay a toll. :)

13. Ever kissed someone you weren't attracted to?
... yes, nuff said.

14. Do you like anyone right now?
It goes beyond that; I think it's called love.. and his name is Khaw Kenn WEE

15. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Depends, usually shoes and ankles if he's wearing shorts. Otherwise, anything else particularly appealing, like perhaps a nice smile, funny laugh, good manners, etc etc. Kind of don't take too much note on the exterior.

16. Which do you prefer, Beach or Mountains?

Both! I'm hot n cold.

17. What kind of phone do you have?
SOny Ericsson w580i

18. Computer or Laptop?
Laptop, it's HP

19. Jeans or sweats?
SWEATS ALL THE WAY! Except it's too hot in Penang to wear sweats.

20. Which year(s) has/have been the best so far?
... whichever ones don't involve me being under the influence of substances.

21. How old are you gonna be on your next birthday?

...

20
22. What should you be doing right now?
Having hot passionate sex.. with my dog.

23. What is your favourite TV show?
Family Guy, Discovery, National Geographic, Friends, The Simpsons, How I Met your Mother

24. What's been your last purchase?
Paying the MPPP for a parking ticket.. shit...

25. Are you attracted to girls/boys that smoke?
No... it's really not that impressive, but I'm not one to speak, I smoke too.. but I'm quitting now. Although I'd rather get to know the person before I make any judgements about them; I smoke and I'm awesome.

26. Have you ever fallen on your butt in front of a crowd of people?
ALL THE EFFING TIME. Particulary, this one time on NYE 2007 at D'joint in UPR I fell back on my chair..

27. What do you do when you're at home?
Eat, online, tv, read, hw, eat, sleep, eat, read, draw, write, think, think some more, and eat, then sleep. Dream.

28. What is your favourite subject?
English, P.E., Psychology, and Family Studies (classes they have in Canada)

29. What's the best thing that happened on you?
On me?! Hmmm.. ;) ;) Figure it out yourself..

30. 10 person to tag: (not arranged according to favourites and not tagging those who Choo already tagged)
pass it on, tag yourself.

Agent Procrasinator

These days, I've been the worst at getting shit done, to the max reluctant.
It's been about 5 days since I've yet to pick up my scooter from the shop, it's in repair.
The damn thing keeps fucking breaking down!!!
I've barely touched my homework, I'm behind by 2 assignments.. =.=;;
Furthermore, I'm supposed to register with KDU for January but I keep putting it off, alongside being very indecisive about it. It's a lot of my mother's money, and it'll be a waste if it's not even creditable to my University in Canada. And of course there's the issue of my residing country for the next two years, which is up in air, but leaning towards going back to Canada. I have to, but should't apparently due to my environment there.. too much of the illigit things (you know what). As the days go on, without any notice, I'm beginning to lose myself in this highway track of life as I fly by the recommended limit. Sometimes when we go too fast, we tend to forget to slow down and smell the roses, and that's whats happening. I've got to cool it, get back into my groove and think.
I'm trying to reset my body clock too, that way I wake up at 10 a.m. not 2 p.m. I'll have more time in the day to get shit done. This is hard, since the next upcoming days I know are going to be of no rest. Tommorrow I've gotta start homework, if I can wake, then help my mom pack some crap; pick up my scooter, gym it, and I want to go to Pesta. Friday it's May's birthday. Saturday.. well you know. Sunday will be the day, I'll press the restart button. =) And tonight, tonight I unleash the animal after so long. It's going to be mads niggaaaaaaa...